hadd ptm this morning . haas .
mdm ruhaiza had nothing to say .
so it lasted less then 5 minutes ?? =\

made me get up andd wearr uniform just forr that . grr .
haas .
my mum was like
DIAO .

hm . then we went to plaza singapura .
cos the scv spoil . haha .
SUN BIAN went shopping =DD
hehehe .

bought some clothes .
it was one of the FEW times in which she andd me could agree on types of clothes .
aha . most of the time .
we would standd there .
arguing . hahs .
so YESH . im happy about that x))

just came back from swimming . HEHEH.
was getting abit dizzy .
so i came up earlierr .
lalala.

ZHIHAO THANKS . haas .
for helping me get it x))
shuunii also . for helping me ask him . LOLL .

aha went to watchh xmen today . haas
it was only after i got home . that i realised that there a speciall clip after the credits .
about xavierr coming back to life .
DOT .

hmm . we played the arcade ALOT .
hahas .
i now pok le .
i was trying to save . then in the end spend on FOOD .
lolls .

i actually thought we were doing project today .
hahas .
then when i got there .
they say dont do le .
OH WELLS .
we kinda walked here and there .
AIMLESS - haaas .

just came back from queensway .
went to follow qiang and mum to buy his shoes .
he . STUPIDD EXPENSIVE .
haha . overr 180+ lehs .

then mum saidd that im a cheap daughter compared to him .
-___-"

went straight home after eating lunch with sheeela they all .
SHEELA KEEP SPILLING THINGS !!
andd the rain .
SHE CAUSED =x
haahs . but she's happy overr her new found power .
so .
oh wells ..

haiis.
pangsehhed they all .
it was me who promised to go with them to bugis .
then in the endd . i didnt go .
so useless lehs me =x
sorrySORRYsorry !! `

so . went home . sit there .
siann siann .
was actuually intending to swim .
but ling said she didnt want .
so .. i sat at home andd STARE .

its stupidd to be grounded . haas .
oh wells . CONSEQUENCES .
lalala .

during lit.
we studied . something related to genesis .
then mrs ch0o ask me andd julia to answerr some christian related stuuf .
andd i realised .
I TOTALLY FORGOTTEN .
i've drifted further than i thought .
HOW CAN ?
i feeel like . a betrayer ?
i dont wanna endd up back-sliding !!
dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .
cannotCANNOTcannot !! =x

we watched the chronicles of narnia in the hall today .
then skip CDP . engg andd maths .
WAHAHA =DD

me . sharmini andd afiqahh .
so stupidd .
every little thing .
also clapp . haas . cos we wanted to make everyone more ..
EXCITED ? lolls .
verry lame . but funn .
afiqah didnt watch before .
so we hadd explain much of the show to herr . LOL .

she say EDMUND cuter than peter .
eeeeeeeeee .
haas . andd she wanted to slapp lucy !!
and that the wolff cuute .
HEH .
me andd sharmini opposite !! `
haha . so we kept on arguing . lala .
superr funny .
except that sharmini repunzal hairr keeep sweeeping against me !! .
haha .

finally finished watching the ER MO ZAI SHEN BIAN .
haas .
i won kaisheng !! ~
hmm . he saidd he didnt wannt to watch finish yet .
haas .

anyways . thanks to shunii .
me andd herr can go the job le .
aiiyos .
me actuually cannot de lehs .
haas .
THANKS x)
hoppe wont be so GONG again .
andd not so clumsy =x
lalala .

wahh .
they g0od lorhs .
they bluffedd me that we hadd track today .
then i gon gong bring my shoe .
in the endd .
they tell me 'got mehs ? who say one'
GRR . haas .
how come i so GULLIBLE ?
neverr mind larhs .
guess its fun forr them . LOL .

GROUNDED DAY 4 *
haas .
few more days to go !! hehehehe .
must be GUAI . and REN xDD

today's pe .
that stupidd laogong of mine .
seee larhs . gastric le .
ask youu eat dont want .
during pe almost wann faint !!
haas .
SHUNI MUST GET WELL SOON HORHS .
i will force youu eat manyMANY !! x)

haas .
hmm . today jiamin suddenly asked .
i really dont understand . how come youu cann keep smiling de .
everyday seems to be to a happy day for youu .

hmm . i never thought of it .
haas . i also dont know why i am happy .
maybe just cos . i dont want to see the people around me sad anymore x)
so i must be first to SMILE x)

must have a POSITIVE* outl0ok on life .
right TUDI ?
haas . i wont let anything get me down .
WAHAH =D must be happy .
andd seek my own happiness .
no more depending on others so much .
but i want the people i love to be happy t0o .
so .
no more being selfish .
they are more important x)

hmm . me . shuni & julia went forr the interview .
i was the first . LOL .
he give me those SIAN face .
how can i share things with him .
haas .
so me answerr all short short de .
so dont think i will zong ba . haas .
oh wells .
whats done is done .
shuni did well though .
hope she get it . WHEEE xD

ohkay . i ADMIT . i've been going out late these few days .
but i was really shocked that they treated me like that .

ever since last thursday .
she's been scolding me overr the smallest little things .
when i was holding something wrongly.
when i went out t0o late.
when i got lost.

the tution teacherr said i didnt need to have tution.
and qiang was supposed to go .
then she FORCED me to go cos he was sleeping .
and scolded me cos i didnt prepare my books .

then shuni they all had to leavee early cos she last minute tell me .

they usedd to be understanding .
now out of blue suddenly scolding me .
what does she want me to do ?

haiis . i dont know .
i miss the reasonable and understanding mum i had .
now .
i cant seem to tell her ANYTHING .
we never share anymore laughs .
she doesnt even seem to care anymore .
scolding without reason .

i felt really blocked out today .
i dont know .
i felt . pulled away from God .
during lesson .
they were being so insensitive and mean lorhs .

i dont feel like i can grow spiritually with them .
in fact. they make me HATE going to church .
i dont want to pull away from God .
i really dont.
but i cant grow with them either .
but they're the ones i grew up with .
and i cant bear to part with them either .

during worship .
my heart .
totally devoid of meaning.
singing empty songs.
i didnt even know WHY i was there .
the basis of everything i believed in .
suddenly opened a BLANK .

everything's crashing at the WRONG TIMES .
i dont know what to do anymore .

today got backk some results . my gosh . the most shocking one . I PASSED MY EMATHS !! hahas . everyone was so shock lorh . shalini they all were like
HUH ? HOW CAN . WRONG PAPER LARH . haha . got 75 .
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .
first time lehs . haha . so happy .
SEE . miracles DO happen x)
even mum was shocked . she was laughing . haaas .

muhh chinese andd lit not so g0od though . but the marks not confirm .
will post all the results when i confirm ba . haas .

didnt go forr the bowling cos went to bugis with they all . haas .
got to design my own shoe .
heeeeeeee .
IF i hadd a cam . i would take a pic andd show ur . LOL .
then while waiting to make the design . got one little boy from the next shop .
NICHOLAS . haha . primary onee . SO CUTE lorhs . me andd melissa played withh him .haas .
so fun lorhs .
first . teachh him how to readd .
then let him paint on my shoe . haas . then we talk andd talk .
andd play each otherr thing .
he almost went into the toilet with us .
andd i forced to say ILOVE YOU to his mum .
andd loads of otherr stuuff . haas .
my goshh . he's SO CUTE . haha . must go backk andd visit . HEHE .

hmm . yeapps .
the ride back on the 960 with mel was .. REFLECTIVE ? haas . we talked about loads of stuuff . andd yeaa . the sadd stuuff came back .
though im not close with mel . she underst0od me .
andd i realise we feeel the same about LOADS of stuuff . haas .
YAY xDD

ohkiies . promised myself not to think .
lalala .

mum says that if i top the class forr amaths . she'll finally let me change my phone . pleaaseee .
its as g0od as not telling me . hahas .
im a total maths FAILURE . passing would already be a shock . TOP ?
how can .
the thought of getting marks HALF AS CLOSE as jouhar's never even crossed my mind .
me and maths just dont CLICK .
its hopeless . hahas . but oh wells .
just try anyways . andd LOADS of praying . maybe i'll get lucky ? lalalas .

siianns . was actuually set on studying today .
cos my parents wouldnt let me go out after yesterday .
was kinda ohkay .. till i fell asleeep .
then i woke up to find that it was already dinner . LOL .

in the end . only managed to ..
- read a chapt of geog
- read a chapt of physics
- two amaths revision worksheet .

got a MAJOR shouting from dad when he caught me sleeping .
he keeps saying that my way of learning is totally wrong .
and insists that his way is right .
'dont come and cry to me tomorrow when you dont understand'
would i go to him if i dont know in the first place ? pleaseee .
i ask him one little question .
he will give me the WHOLE HISTORY . andd in the endd i wont understand anything . hehh .
haas . ohkay larhs . i guess he's just trying to help me .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAZ !! . hahaa .
today party at jazreeel houuse . the wholee gangg all come . lolls . except some ba . t0o badd cherie couldnt go ):
hmm . luckky jazreel live nearr my house . haha . else me couldnt go le .

when we asked jaz mum who she thought most COMPATIBLE forr her daughterr . she say chink0on . LOLL . then yongjie try to give a g0od impression . by eating 10 overr pieces of cake . haha .
we all played cardds . and eatEATeat and talkTALKtalk !! ~ policee andd thief so siao . next time play game . cannot sit with chuanmin !! haha . even though he always got the correct answerr .
CHIAYIN STEAL MY YONGJIE *COUGH . ahha . neverr mind . chuanmin ch0ose me . WAHAHA .
but yongjie also ch0ose the cake instead of herr . lalala .

thenTHEN . oh my gosh . heardd that YONGJIE AND CHIANMIN AND SERENE WAN MIGRATE ?? my gosh . i wanted to cry lorhs . HOW CAN ?
yongjie go le . WHO WILL SPARR WITH ME ? ahah . andd chuanmin owee me a phonee . serenee . though me not so closee with herr . SHE ROCKS LORHS . haiis . onee by onee . all going le . yuruu also gone back le .
i wonderr . whats going to become of us in the yearrs to come ? will we always be like this . orr would we eventually go our seperate ways . yearly reunions our only communication. i dont wannt !! haha . true friends who understand you are one in a million . quality not quantity xDD

CHIAYIN LAOPO . DONT SAD KAY . NEXT TIME I BRING YOU TO KOREA . haha . & IM SURE YOU CAN MAKE A CHOICE SOON .

hehe . today's lit was ohkay, just that didnt have time to finish . time management ? ahaha . mrs ch0o kept repeating =x
the chem was so haarrdd . i spentt so muchh time trying to rememberr the MOLES that i forgot everything else . ('.' ") then look look look . so many terms dont understand . hadd to look in the front to make suure i was not taking pure science paperr . haha . think im goingg to fail ba . loads of blanks . andd the once i didnwere no better ): i really hope i dont fail. else coachh suuree kill me =x

hmm . anyways . today my laogong sickk . haas . SHUNI LAOGONG MUST GET WELL SOON KAY . we all miss youu alot today xDD must get well forr ourr LASER QUEST tomorrow . wahahaha =DD it wont be the same without youu .

anyways. spent the day at the library after sch0ol. needed a break from all the NERDING* haas . we were making so muchh noise =x lalala . on the way to lot1 , we kept on saying auudi . haas . then he was walking on the road . w0os . BOXER BOY !! haha . dont worry about yourr red underwear secret . HEHE .
when we were at the f0od court. jiamin kept saying auudi . commenting on every little thing he did . LOLL . so funny . then auudii so paisehh . didnt dare to open his mouuth . thenn keep saying 'shut up shut up ' LOLL . jiamin also forcedd him to use the tissuuee . haha .
we all laughed till ourr stomachs hurt . HEHEHE . it was much-needed to relieve stress . hee .

i wanted to tell afiqahh about the thingy . hmm . maybe i'll tell herr tomorrow . haas .

OHYA . today's my THIRD DAY ANNIVERSARY of my deadd phone )): siian . haas . shuunii laogong say she will lendd me . WEEE .

haiis . my phone spoil for TWO DAYS LE . ahahs .my gosh .
havent been able to use the house phone t0o . so cant call cherie they all ):
. these few days, exams le . haha . beeen trying to study reaall hard .
told myself . NOMORESLACKING ! must concentrate le . after exam . then PLAYPLAYPLAY xDD
but there always seem to be distractions . haha . must peresevere x))

hmm . today, stayed in canteen with dajie until 2. was actuually intending to ask ms lim about chem stuuff. but in the endd, we just watched her eat -__-"
then my mum made me go home early .
rest awhile le, went to the reading r0om with ling and dad to CHIONG . haas . not reaally chiong larhs . readd the lit stories over again ? just came back . lalala xDD

WHY MUST HAVE LIT AND CHEM ON SAME DAY . both very hiong subjects . hahas . PLUS otherr classes are only having chem . its abit unfair ? ^^

anyways . shalini and i agree that she's starting to piss us off . but .. dont be so bad ba . everybody does what they do for a reason yea ? haa . so. REN . lolls . better to gain a friend than an enemy x)

CHERIE LAOPO . CHEERR UP ): we both are in the situation. andd you're the only one who knows the whole thing . hmm . dont think so much yea ?

haas . afiqahh said she liked the presents we gave herr . WEEE .
we sangg happy birthday to herr like a GAZILLION times xDD
i lovee her loads man . LOL . HAPPY BIRTHDAY .

hmm . muust thank my shuunii laogong . last night helpp me so muchh . that i manage to study A LITTLE . thanks forr all the support !! (:

i triedd hardd to concentrate today. i really did. i kept what shuni laogong saidd to me in mind. andd throughh the first paper i could . when it was overr, i was so happy. then i went off thinking andd thinking . and i FORGOT that afterr recess still have the chinese.
so when mdm ruhaiza said 'put your bags in the front'
i was like 'HUUHH ??'

hmm . couldnt concentrate AT ALL lorhs . halfway reading through the first compre . my mind drifted off again . andd ten minutes later, i came back andd was like 'what was i doing ? ohh ya . compre . darn'

haiis . i think im going to fail reaall badd. but, it doesnt seem to matter anymore. WHY ? i wanna concentratee on studying t0o. GRR .

after sch0ol, went for my dental. he made me open my mouth SO LONG . haas . so xin kuu . dots. after that, passed by st margarets sec on my way home. saw the bball guurlls having training . haiis . memories returned AGAIN. gosh. i almost criedd. then my dad started asking me how i would describe cherie, him and myself.
he said that i dont seem to be goal-driven. well, in a way. my goals are all in a mess. my expectations have been coming lower andd lower. i somehow find that none of my hopes andd dreams will come true . andd i find that im just CURSED . just plained CURSED.

haas . i just watched one show AGAINST ALL ODDS . oh my goshh . its so niceee . me andd my sis kept crying. orr at least i was =x
must watch must watch xDD
there was one guy. his dad and mum went to jail. andd when his mum came out . she married another man. and the step father kept trying to kill him . even put tried putting his headd in the ovenn !! the poor boy . was about 12 ? then he thought of commiting suicide . hmm . they didnt show that larhs . but then. it was in his testimony.
then anotherr gurll . when her dad came out of jail . she tried to give him another chance. and everything was well. but THEN . her father tried to sell herr forr one hourr . for A LITTLE BIT OF DRUG . thats just being heartless lorhs . the poorr guurll. then she kept cutting her wrist. just to feel the pain.

i cant imagine if my parents were like that .
hmm . all children want is to be loved (:
haas . yea . it was very inspirational .

class was superr funny today . auudii wanted to 'CLEAN' my chairr . so i was forced to sit with kunlin . haa . afterr about an hourr . i couldnt take it . andd i started fighting with audi . its strange how he suddenly talks SO MUCH . haa . then next was maths . ms ng was giving out the test papers, so me,shalini,afiqah,aqilah and audi fought for the fourr seats. it was SUPER funny. laughed till my stomache huurt like siao. in the endd . afiqah lost . and she went to sit with kaihsiang . haas . auudii was like . laughing like SIAO . LOL .

we had physics in the aftern0on. something SCARED ME TRUCKLOADS . haha . was sitting with shiqi nearr the window . then suddenly *SOMEONE face stuuck at the window. ohh my goshh . so scarry lorhs . then kept staring . it was like SO LONG . i was so scaredd . but i dont think shiqi noticed . i triedd to l0ok in the otherr direction . haas . so scared so scared =x

after physics, went to l0ok for cherie to help her settle the *...* thingy . oh my gosh . was so shocked to see him there. its been awhile . so , we sat there to talk. felt kinda wierd. all we did was argue. dot . hmm. then when euugene guolong they all come, me andd cherie left. then cherie and i talked about the past stuuff. im so CONFUSED !! i t0ok me so long to get overr it. and just one appearance by youu. andd all of it came back . i wanted so much to cry. but the tears couldnt come out . then, on my way back, saw him TWICE . goshh . cherie saidd it was fate that we bumped into each other over and over. FATE ? maybe . maybe not . haa . the funny part was, when we saw each other in the distance, we both did the EXACT SAME THING . haas . same reaction . then cherie saidd it was fate . hmm . i dont know .

i didnt wanna get close with youu again. afraid of what may happen. hmm. trying not to think t0o much. goshh . i dont think i cann concentrate tomorrow . must RENN !! must be a NU QIANG REN . cannot cannt .

today in class . that xuukunn really make me andd shalini piss off le . but he still didnt seeem to get the message. shalini wanted to scoldd him . but then .. i toldd her . not worthh it . then she forced herself to tolerate . haiis . he really dont know his limits lorhs . he hit shalini so hardd . like want to slap her lehs .
ohkay ohkay . must REN . aha .

hmm . after sch0ol went to libraryy to study with audrey. geraldine.shuni andd jiamin . in the endd . all i did was the physics worksheet . haaas . was actuually intending to go andd find ms lim about the MOLES stuuff =x but in the endd didnt . DOT .
lalalas .

jiaminn andd i then play speeed until siao . haha . the library was suuupperr noisy . LOL .
hmm . then went to cherie's house . vedd was there t0o . GOSH . i cant believe what happenedd to them . if i was theree . maybe i could have helped herr . GRR . im suchh a useless friendd . SORRY CHERIE .
im also reaall sorry forr not beingg able to help vedd . but . i think it was better that she knew the truthh yea ? SORRY VED .

hmm . must hopee that sch0ol endds early tomorrow . then maybe got time to go andd help cherie settle . *PRAYS . haha .

haas . today . learnn ting xiie until so siao . then in the endd also got no ting xie -_-" postponee again .
hmm . after sch0ol went to jurong point with sheela . shuunii and aqilahh . haa . we go aroundd andd around looking forr theirr presents .
in the endd . we finally decided . ALOT of people sharing . WAHAH =DD cann save money . lalala .

afterr hearing what shuni say . i learnt that things arent always what they seem. its like a repeat of what happen in the past . made me think AGAIN . gosh . haha . i cry at the bus stop . then those people look at me and thought i was siao . LOL . i dont care . iLOVE shuni laogong =DD

you're everything he wasnt . and yet . i think it was the flaws that had made me like you t0o. cannot cannot . haha . dont wanna go back again =DD must l0ok towards my future . lalaa . whatever it may be (:

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